Bedtime Story

The cat didn't understand why it couldn't go sailing. It couldn't swim well but that was a skill a number of sailors lacked. It knew all about ships and it liked water well enough but every time it asked a captain if it could join the crew the man shook his head and nudged it aside. Their boats didn't have any rats, they were small vessels for delivering cargo and were always kept exceptionally clean. The cat was becoming increasingly depressed and mewing at any passerby on the docks. "I just want to go sailing" it said. It was by a park and there were little toy sail boats gliding through the water. It glared in envy at the imaginary passengers under the fluttering white sails that looked so much like the wings of the dove it caught yesterday. The cat pounced. It fell into a downpour and slept shaking on someone's doorstep. In the morning it was sunny. A woman came out and chased it away. It was hungry. A little girl put out a can of tuna and watched it. The cat didn't let her touch it. The can was only half finished when a mongrel appeared and chased the cat away. Then the cat remembered it wanted to go sailing. It sat at the dock as the last boat drifted away in the sunset. The cat curled up in the sky and left one eye open in case the dog returned. The crescent of the eye glowed in the reflection of the street lamps. The sailors blessed it for the light it brought into the night. The cat never got to go sailing.

Oh dark night do you live here still?

They claimed we lost you
A long time ago
When the West was conquered
And the North tainted
They claimed you disappeared
Even before
Moonlight was pondered
Stars were named
And sunrise blessed
But me, I still think you wander
Somewhere in these streets
A gentle blanket
For a child
With eyes overwhelmed by color
Lights and sounds
Who merely wishes
To rest

We Were All Misguided Until You Pulled the Trigger

It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I can't look into your face without remembering how you left me in the cold and dark. How you let the storm swallow me. How you never checked to see if I'd survived. How you just assumed I'd be back. How you called letting me go "caring." Pride is a terribly powerful force, but mine needs to be cut down sometimes. You should have pulled me back. It would have been better in the end. Right?
I can still feel the damp in my bones, the weakness in my body. Will I ever recover from this? I've tried ignoring the emotional hurt because this physical one has come up and surprised me. I had sleeping sickness before my heart thawed and began complaining. I couldn't fall asleep as I tossed and turned with an unknown flu. When finally I slipped away my dreams held me captive. I'd wake and scream out to the sunlight, lift up a hand in protest, but there was no one there to grasp it and down I fell again into a torturous dreamland where you wanted even more from me but where you held me closer than ever you'd be able to in this waking world.
I had no other option. I don't think you understood. I had miles of downcast glances to get angry. You had miles of conversation to become forgetful. For me the miles weren't enough. Disappointment wrapped on my door when, safe and warm, I heard not a word. The anger never came. At least not in earnest. I may have watched it pass by in the streets on a handful of occasions but its destination was elsewhere.
And still I wait, but I know the greeting I shall receive when my face again emerges before your own. Empty in its warmth. Meaningless. Pleading care, loyalty, and guidance. What a glorious figure you are, such an idle, such a patronymic mentor. But how can you claim to take me under your wing when all you do is fly me to the highest cliffs and let me fall. And maybe I do survive but I don't need to be pushed. I don't need to be pushed.
It's not that I don't love you. It's not that I don't appreciate what you've done for me. It's just a person gets tired of falling off cliffs, tired of watching her hopes crash against the rocks as she walks on. Every time I see you I can hear them shattering. You may have inspired me, you may have built my past, but every second you are destroying my future.

Spring Cleaning

Today I found the candy wrappers I had saved incase somewhere along the road I found the hopes and dreams I used to have. I stared at them for a while, considering all their crumpled bodies had meant to me. Then I scooped them up and let them flutter into the trash. Out of my life. Forever.

Midnight Hillsides

"You really are a creature of the night, aren't you?"
"Only because no one else is. I'm not afraid of the dark." They were sitting on the edge of the roof, three stories above the sidewalks and pavement of the busy cab-calling night life below.
"It's like we're flying over them. This is so cool. I bet the view is amazing in the daytime."
"Yeah, sunrise is spectacular."
"I'd just be afraid someone would see me."
"They can't, we're too boxed in that the angles are all wrong so they'd have to be pretty far away. People never look up anyways."
"How did you find this place?"
"It just sort of happened. It's a good roof, there are a couple others to equal it but not many."
"You really know all the secrets to this place huh?"
"Hmmm." She smiled quietly in the dark, breathing in the freshness of the spring air.
"It's a good escape."
"I'm surprised you even showed me."
"Yeah, well, I trust you not to ruin it."
"No, I understand, sometimes it's just too much being here and always being around other people. There has to be a break somewhere."
"I miss my mountains. Here I can see them- or at least envision them at night. Here they don't seem so far away."

A Letter to the Eternal

Dear Wind,
Sail me with your clouds
Let us race across the sky
Catch me in your wings
On your back let me fly
Pull me towards your moon
And lift me as your dust
Ghost me into nothingness
Woo me into trust
Very truly yours,
Stuck Upon the Ground